You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
