one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
