Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
