is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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