i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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