You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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