and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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