Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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