Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
