WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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