she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
