Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
