I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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