Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
