How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
whose parrot is this?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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