summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
