Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
