If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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