everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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