if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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