ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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