Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
