My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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