I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
sex in a hospital.. check
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
