did you get engaged???
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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