Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
