the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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