There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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