I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
