cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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