I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
