This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
