i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I want to fling myself into the sun
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