I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
