That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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