SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
