She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
