im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
