She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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