at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
