Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
