Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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