I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
