google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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