how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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