You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
