Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
