I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
