oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
