So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
