We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
