No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
its liver damage thursday
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
