im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
