Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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