I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
