she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
