didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
