There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
