toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
