I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
