guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
