doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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