Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
