My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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