I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
