Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
