I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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